The Things People Come Up With:

I manage a veterinary hospital. I've been doing this for almost 10 years now, and in that time I have been amazed by some of the things that my clients say in the exam rooms. For example:

The doctor is examing a dog and is asking all sort of medical history questions. How old is the pet? Where did you get her? Blah blah blah. After one of the questions, the client answers... "No she can't get pregnant. She's been tutored." Wow, if only it was that easy huh?

Next case is a severely limping dog. The owner says it might be hip dyslexia.

This one happened about 7 years ago. My technician and I were closing the hospital and this rather large (and quite possibly intoxicated) "gentleman" barged in and asked ,"You got a monkey back there to buy? I want me a monkey to sit on my shoulder." He was quite serious and wasn't leaving until we showed him the back room, where indeed, there were no monkeys. Satisfied, he left. We went next door for a drink!

Then there is my long time favorite that we get at least 1-2 times a month. A client calls up because his/her pet is going to board in a kennel and needs a kennel cough or bordetella shot. Instead we usually get asked for the "bordello" shot.