Twas 4 days past Christmas... by CG

Twas 4 days past Christmas and all through my home,
not a creature was stirring, and I wasn't alone.

The wrapping was torn with not a care,
Presents scattered around was evidence St Nick had been there.

My kid was nestled, all snug in his bed,
as the theme song to Spongebob Square Pants sang in his head.

Me in my fleece, my HTB in his jammies,
all snuggled down like good Daddies and Mommies.

When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter,
we sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, I flew up the sash
to see my neighbor drunk, doing the 50 yard dash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
that same neighbor in a heap of electric reindeer!

When he's sober, normally, so lively and quick,
but in this moment, I think he'll be sick!

He whistled and shouted, and called the deer by name,
"Now, Dasher! Now, Prancer! Dancer and Vixen!"

"Oh Comet! and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen!"
Get me off the porch, let me pee on the wall,
now dash away, dash damn you all!"

My neighbor spoke not a word, and went straight to his work,
and filled the potted plants and turned with a jerk.

Seeing me spy through the window, he rose
and stuck his middle finger up his nose.

But I heard him exclaim as he stumbled out of sight -
"Damn peeping neighbors...got to bed and GOOD NIGHT!"