Twas 4 days past Christmas... by CG

Twas 4 days past Christmas and all through my home,
not a creature was stirring, and I wasn't alone.

The wrapping was torn with not a care,
Presents scattered around was evidence St Nick had been there.

My kid was nestled, all snug in his bed,
as the theme song to Spongebob Square Pants sang in his head.

Me in my fleece, my HTB in his jammies,
all snuggled down like good Daddies and Mommies.

When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter,
we sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, I flew up the sash
to see my neighbor drunk, doing the 50 yard dash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
that same neighbor in a heap of electric reindeer!

When he's sober, normally, so lively and quick,
but in this moment, I think he'll be sick!

He whistled and shouted, and called the deer by name,
"Now, Dasher! Now, Prancer! Dancer and Vixen!"

"Oh Comet! and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen!"
Get me off the porch, let me pee on the wall,
now dash away, dash damn you all!"

My neighbor spoke not a word, and went straight to his work,
and filled the potted plants and turned with a jerk.

Seeing me spy through the window, he rose
and stuck his middle finger up his nose.

But I heard him exclaim as he stumbled out of sight -
"Damn peeping neighbors...got to bed and GOOD NIGHT!"

Happiness in a cup....

When the lease to my old car (Subaru Forester) was about to expire, I began the search for a new set of wheels. Being I had a friend in at Toyota who promised me that I would get a good deal, I focussed my energies there. Originally I was going to go with a Scion Xb - AKA the breadbox on wheels. The price was right, seemed to have a roomy enough back seat for my budding basketball player of a son who is setting his sights on a 6' 4" frame...and the MPG were good. My goals are simple when it comes to cars, and I confess, very girlie. I want a pretty colour. There must be some cute little compartment for my sunglasses and the MOST important... a cup holder to hold my ever-present java. Simple. On test drive, the Scion simply could not accomodate my own nearly 6' frame...so I began to search the lot. I liked a lot of the smaller cars - but with three kids to stuff in the back - all in boosters (my own critter, and my BF's 2 rats)...I knew I was going to have a problem. Again, that whole "size does matter" thing comes into play.

My good friend suggested the RAV4. Hmmmmm...pretty, (blue), sunglass holder, and deep looking cup holders. SOLD.

It wasn't until I got home and headed to Starbucks to have a celebratory Venti with a double shot that I realized I had made a FATAL mistake. I never actually put a cup in the holder and just eyeballed them to make sure they were fine. They weren't. Obviously, the makers of Toyota are not coffee drinkers. They have designed, in my humble opinion, the absolute WORST cupholders I have EVER encoutered. USELESS. Much too wide to fit a normal cardboard cup from 7-11, Starbucks, McD's (but who in their right mind would drink THEIR coffee anyway) and way too shallow up the sides. The result? - You hit a curve and the entire cup tips at a 30-40 degree angle spilling your beverage. Not good.

For the past 6 months my BF and I have been on a quest to find a cup that would actually work. I have whined and complained about this SOOO much to my family, friends, coworkers and clients..that they have actually been buyimg me cups...a)to make sure I get my coffee, cuz I am a grump without it and b) to shut me the hell up. One of my clients even found a converter thingy to put in the holder to make it more like a vice....no workie.

At last.... December 23, 2006... on my morning run to Starbucks, (In case you are wondering, the most effective way for me to have a cup of coffee is get a bunch of napkins and squeeze the cup between my legs...or ask my kid to hold it whilst I drive) while ordering a triple venti mocha cap, I saw the Holy Grail of travel mugs. It was a very wide base - high handle and it ceramic. On a non-caffinated induced splurge (and I figured it might make a nice to-me-from-me Xmas Pressie anyway) I bought it.

IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!!! Although not the huge size that I normally get in a coffee cup...IT WORKS. *happy dance*

The roads are now once safe again...Kir has coffee, will travel. Bottoms up.

Out of the mouths....

So I have noticed a trend. The longer you are around someone, the more apt you are to acquire their speech mannerisms. I have been with my boyfriend for 10, almost 11 months now and we have both taken on each others little sayings. Here are some of my favs "borrowed" from BF, friends and family:

"ity" - add this to practically any word. "The roads here are a bit bumpity." Credit: BF

"chuck a wobbly" - a truly Aussie term to throw a temper tantrum, or get pissed off. Alex is chucking a wobbly because he isn't allowed to watch tv.
Credit: Bec

"flip a bitch" - make a u-turn. I am pretty sure I stile this one from one of my Vermont friends when I was in college.

Please feel free to add you own! (Who knows, the next time you speak to me, you might hear it!)